How to Meet Older Women

Where to meet older women

You can meet older women anywhere: at work, at the gym, through friends, at a wine bar on a Thursday. The difficulty is knowing who is interested in a younger man, and asking the wrong woman can be awkward for you both. That is the whole point of a cougar dating site. On Local Cougars there are more than 600 women, most of them 35 to 44, and every one of them joined to meet younger men. You start the conversation knowing the answer to the question you would otherwise be too nervous to ask.

Build a profile she will want to answer

Use a recent, clear photo where you are smiling and look like yourself, not a group shot or a mirror selfie in a dark room. Write a few lines about what you do, what you enjoy and what you are looking for. Be honest about whether you want something casual or something more. Take the free ID check so a verified badge sits on your profile: women here get a lot of messages, and a badge tells her you are real before she has read a word.

How to message an older woman

Read her profile and mention something in it. Ask a real question. Keep it short. "You said you have just come back from Lisbon: what should I not miss when I go?" will get further than "hey gorgeous" ever will. Do not open with her age, compliments on looking young or anything explicit. She chose a cougar site, so she knows you like older women; what she wants to know is whether you are interesting, respectful and worth meeting.

What older women say they want

Ask the women on Local Cougars and the same things come up again and again. Confidence, without arrogance. Energy and curiosity. A man who listens, makes plans and turns up when he says he will. Someone who is attracted to who she is now, not someone looking for a mother or a bank account. The men who do well are the ones who treat a woman of 42 exactly as they would any woman they fancied: with interest, warmth and good manners.

The first date

Suggest somewhere specific, public and easy for her to reach: a good bar, a gallery, a walk and a coffee. Offer to pay, and do not make a thing of it if she would rather split it or treat you. Keep it to an hour or two, and let her decide whether there is a second. Our first date ideas are all chosen with an age gap in mind, and each city page, such as London or Manchester, has local suggestions.

Red flags for younger men

Most women on a cougar site are exactly what they seem. A few profiles are not. Be wary of a glamorous older woman who offers to look after you financially, asks for a fee or gift card before you can meet, or sends intimate photos early and asks for yours. Those are scams, and some end in threats to share images. Never pay to meet someone, keep the chat on the site until you meet, and report anything that feels wrong. More on our safety page.

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